The Joker
by TheMightyMightyMuffinMan
Summary: I didn't want my life to change. But it did. All thanks to that stupid playing card. Now I have to worry about saving Kingsland from the tyrannical reign of the Four Kings and I have to keep that idiot from blowing anything up. Just my luck. USxUk AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Look down, back up. See that plot, that is mine. See those characters, sadly, they arn't mine. But if I was Hidekaz Himaruya then those characters would be mine.**

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In every deck of cards, there are four suits, the club, the heart, the spade, and the diamond. There are thirteen cards in each suit, making the total number of cards in the deck fifty-two. But all to often, we forget about the other cards. The jokers._

~.::.~

I blame my friend Anatolia for this whole mess. If she hadn't asked me to go with her to that bloody lake then I am _positive_ none of this would have ever happened… Though that could either be good or bad. Good because my life wouldn't have changed. I would have gone about my days as I normally had, get up, eat breakfast with my brothers and my mother, go to school, stay after to attend to my vice-president duties, go home, eat dinner, do homework, go to bed, and do it all again in the morning. Bad, because my life would have never changed… Soding "destiny" as Anatolia likes to call it. Either way, that is where my story starts, at that bloody lake.

Anatolia and I had known each other for several years, ever since we were ten I believe, and I still could never predict what she was going to do. One day when we were in eighth grade, she came in, having chopped off all of her hair and stripped every trace of color from it. When I asked her what she was thinking she responded,

"I got some gum in it, so I cut it off."

"But why is it bleeding _white_?" she looked at her hair.

"Hm. Well, I was going for green… But it looks like that color washed out pretty quickly…" Se then resumed staring off into space, while simultaneously doodling. She was an enigma.

So, when she called me up one day during the summer of our junior year, being asked to go to a lake was by far the most normal thing she had asked me to do, ever… I should have known it would all get turned around the second we arrived. But I didn't.

"Check out this rock Arthur! It's so pretty!" Anatolia crooned, picking up the dirt-covered rock.

"Hm, It is quite nice… Don't tell me you are going to do what I-" she proceeded to stand up and chuck the rock as far as she could into the lake. I deadpanned.

"You're a soding git. You know that correct?"

"That I do Arthur. That I do." She responded, brushing off her hands and heading off in search of another rock to throw into the surprisingly clean water. I sighed and returned to the platform I was sitting on. It was going to be a long day.

I was just about to return to the world of Sherlock Holmes and his colleague Watson, when something sticking out of the sand like dirt caught my eye.

"What in the world?" I reached down and brushed off the shimmering object.

It was a playing card, but the back was elegant with a blood red "K" in the middle, shimmering golden designs weaved in and out of the K, creating the look of golden vines wrapping around a tree of blood. Flipping the card over, I found that it was a joker, but the picture was unlike any joker card I had ever seen before. The J's in the upper left and lower right looked similar to the K on the back, only the designs going around them were blue. The image of the joker was that of a young man with blond hair that was only a shade darker than my own, a single arched cowlick seemed to defy gravity. Perched atop his golden head was a pair of aviator goggles that had a shine to the glass. His clothes consisted of black pants with some pockets along the legs and some tattered chains and belts hanging loosely from the sides. His shirt was a simple tan color but over top of it was a brown jacket that was pushed up at the sleeves, revealing his forearms. On his wrists were bracelets that looked to be made of leather and belts. Draped over his shoulders was a black cloak that was tattered and had holes in the bottom. The cape spread out around him, creating a look of strange ferocity and strength.

But the thing that my eyes were drawn to first and foremost in the picture was the young man's face. A smirk that bordered on the line between childish and dangerous graced his lips and his fine eyebrows were arched and added to the calculating look that he had. He also wore a pair of square framed glasses that shielded the bluest pair of eyes I had ever seen. These eyes sparkled with a look of youth, but seemed like they held an age, that no young person should have, hidden behind them.

It was a stunning picture, and the card looked slightly old and very well made. Nothing like the cheep cards that you could pick up at any store for a dollar. I heard Anatolia call for me and I quickly pocketed the card for further inspection upon my return home. In my haste I almost didn't notice as the card-man's smile seemed to brighten from a smirk to one of joy. But I just pushed the thought away from my mind; after all, playing cards' pictures didn't change.

That was impossible…

~.::.~

Once I returned home, ignoring my younger brother Peter's rattling on about how I was a jerk and that I never paid any attention to him, I hurried up to my room and hopped onto my bed, removing the playing card from my forest green board shorts. I lay there for a long time, examining the card, flipping it over, and memorizing every detail of the beautiful object. Though, every time I looked at the man on the front, I couldn't help but feel that the image was changing, as absurd as that sounds. Every flip, the smile would seem broader or brighter, the eyes would look more excited and playful, and the expression in general seemed to become happier? I sighed.

"It is completely impossible for playing cards to change. I must be loosing my marbles." I grumbled, putting the card on my bedside table and rolling over to face my window. I stared up at the clear, white moon dangling in the black sky, the stars flickering and dancing around it.

"What a strange joker card…" I mumbled and I felt my eyes slowly slip shut, sleep suddenly claiming my body that was defiantly not tired just moments ago.

This is where my story began.

And my normal life ended.

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**A/N: I'm terrible. I can't believe I'm writing this too. Dammit. I should be working on HV&EATW (Figure it out if you don't know it) but I'm not. I hate my brain. :I srsly. This isn't Beta'd so, forgive my terrable grammar and spelling. Yes, this is a multi-chapter... No I don't know when updates will be. Sorry. My life is BEYOND crazy right now. I just auditioned for my community theater's musical, so THAT's nerve-wracking, also I have homework and stuff. But I will write every chance I get. Once life calms down, I'll get back on my writing kick. Promise.**

**On another note, Thank you to everyone who wished me happy birthday. I know I promised an Alfred/Matt brothers story, but I got like 500 words in and lost motivation... and internet. :I I hate my computer. I'm pretty much at it's mercy for when I can get online. But, anyway. I hope you'll enjoy this story. :I Hopefully the plot doesn't suck too bad... I tried more description. Really I did. Anyway, off to go chip away at that iceberg of homework. I think I'll get through it, I mean, my boat's called the _Titanic._ :I /bricked for terrible sense of humor./  
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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow. A chapter for both of my stories in the same weekend? I'm on a roll! :D**

_**DISCLAIMED.

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As I awoke, I realized I was defiantly no longer in my bed.

The sky above me was vast, seeming to stretch forever in all directions, and the ground was soft, green pillows of grass caressed my body. As I stood up, feeling slightly dizzy for some reason, I found that my faded Beatles t-shirt and board shorts were no longer hanging loosely on my small (to be read: manly) body. They had been replaced with brown trousers that were tucked into knee-high, laced, black boots. Both the boots and trousers were sturdy and seemingly well-warn from long periods of work and wear. Golden clasps and chains held a maroon cloak together over a white tunic with red heart and diamond patterns on it, the tunic was tucked into the trousers, causing it to bulge slightly where the fabric folded. I felt an alien weight on my hip. It turned out to be a belt with a sword's hilt sticking out of the sheath. The hilt of the sword was black as night and had intricate golden designs winging around it, at the end of the hilt was a delicate red glass heart with a darker red glass diamond in the center of the heart.

"What the hell…?" I questioned as I pulled the sword out and held it up to shine in the sunlight.

The sword was lighter and longer than I had imagined it. The smooth, perfect silver steel glistened where the detailed etchings of hearts and diamonds lay in the blade.

"What in the world is with all of the hearts and diamonds?" I mumbled to myself, turning the blade in my hands, examining it further.

"Well, those _are_ your suits," I whirled around, swinging the sword in the process, at the new voice. A loud clang rang out as metal collided with metal, for the other person had a sword at the ready. When I saw who was at the end of that sword, I did a double-take

Standing in-front of me was the man on the Joker card. Or, someone who looked exactly like him, aside from his clothes. The shirt that was in the picture had been replaced with a tunic, similar to mine, only with black designs of clubs and spades; he also had a belt with a sheath for the sword that had collided with mine. His sword's hilt had a grey glass spade with a black club inside of it at the very end, where mine had the red heart and diamond.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded, holding my sword with both hands in his direction. He must have found this funny, because his smirk grew wider.

"The name's Alfred. Alfred F. Jones. The Black Joker, at your service." He responded, bowing at me after he put his sword back into its holder. I scowled at him, my sword never lowering.

"Black Joker?" I asked, a look of obvious skepticism graced my features. He just smiled at me.

"Yep! I'm the Black Joker, and you, my bushy-browed, British, friend... You are the Red Joker!" He said, walking around my sword to poke me on the nose. Now, some people would say that I flushed and stammered something along the lines of "My eyebrows are perfectly normal you wanker!" But, those people are bloody liars and do not deserve the time of day. I was perfectly dignified with my response... I hit him on the head with the hilt of the sword.

"Ow! Not nice." He mumbled, rubbing his head.

"Well, don't say and do things like that to people! Now, where am I?" I asked, looking around with my hands on my hips. He grinned.

"You're in the Kingsland! And this is the Joker's battlefield!" Alfred responded, gesturing to the land around us. I took in the area.

Aside from the clear blue sky, I saw that the field seemed to stretch for miles before reaching a dense forest that surrounded the entirety of the field, which in actuality was a clearing of sorts. The forest was black and seemingly endless.

"Alright then Mr... Jones, was it? How do I get out of here?"

"Please, call me Alfred! Oh, and you kinda have to fight me and win to get out of here." he mumbled the last part, looking anywhere but directly at me, rocking back and forth on his heels. I deadpanned.

_"Wot?"_ My accent got heavier, but I quickly regained my composure, "You want me, to fight you? Um, no. Thank you." I replied, turning away from the man who seemed to just be spouting more nonsense by the minute.

"Hey, where are you going?" he called after me.

"I'm finding my way out of here. It can't be that hard." I responded, never looking back.

"At least tell me your name!" he cried, I stopped, always the gentleman, I sighed.

"Fine, Arthur Kirk-" A large mass cut me off as it rammed into me full speed, successfully causing me to let out a yelp as I was pinned to the ground.

"Gotcha!" He let out a booming laugh, "Nice to finally meet you Artie!" If I didn't before, I now very much hated this big brute of a man.

"My name is Arthur; now get the bleeding hell off of me!" I cried, thrashing about under the brick wall of muscle that seemed to make up Alfred.

"Not until you agree to at least talk to me for a little bit! Hell, I don't wanna fight you! I'm fine with you staying here; it gets lonely here all by myself every day!" He smiled, his arms still pinning mine to the ground and his legs on either side of my torso. I flushed at the position we were in.

"Fine! Just _get off_!" he complied with a smile. I questioned why this man seemed intimidating to me when I first met him. Now he just seemed like a little kid who had way too much candy... Or a dog. Either or. He even sat like a dog, I was waiting for him to bark and beg for a treat.

"Now, Alfred, would you mind telling me exactly why I am wearing these ridiculous clothes?" I asked, sitting up and examining the man carefully.

"Like I said, you're the Red Joker. You have power over the red suits. I have power over the black suits!" He responded, puffing out his chest, obviously proud of that fact for some unfathomable reason.

"That's another thing, what is with all of this 'Joker' nonsense? I have no idea what you are talking about." His smile turned into a confused expression.

"Well... How do I explain it...? Hmm… Well, you know playing cards?"

"Yes, but what do they have to do with anything?"

"Did you happen to find an exceptionally heroic and good-looking one lately?" I frowned at his snide expression.

"No, I found an interesting looking one. Why would I think a card was heroic or good-looking?" I deadpanned. Alfred frowned, but continued his explanation.

"Well, that card you found? It's mine. There are fifty two cards just like that one, most if not all are in the possession of the Card Faces, people like me who are on the faces of the cards they have control over. There are about twenty four of us Card Faces, last time I counted."

"Well, why don't you have yours?" He grinned sheepishly at me.

"Well, the big guys, that's the four Kings of Kingsland, decided that I wasn't _'mature enough_' to handle my card's power... So I ended up not being able to leave my battlefield and my card was stuck in the Mortal Land. I have to wait for someone to summon me, another Card Face comes to visit, or when a player gets summoned to fight me."

"And, how often do any of those things happen?" I asked, just barely grasping what Alfred was trying to tell me.

"Lately? Hardly ever. No one seems to know about the Game in this day and age... And not many of the other Card Faces like me, say I'm not, "a legitimate card" I'm plenty legitimate, I'm the freaking Hero for cripes sakes!" And with that, I gave up trying to understand.

"Not a single thing you are rambling about makes one bit of sense to me. Could you explain it a little better perhaps?" I asked, exasperated with the idiot in front of me. He pouted at me.

"I'm explaining it the best I can! _You_ clearly just can't comprehend my totally amazing explanation skills!" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, yes, so sorry. It is clearly all my misunderstanding and inability to speak _idiot_." Alfred glared at me and opened his mouth to spit out another childish response, when he was cut off by a shrill ringing that resonated through the clearing.

"What is that?" I asked, looking around. Alfred paled.

"Crap. Not yet!" He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't wake up! Don-" another shrill ring cut off his begging.

"What do you mean don't wake... Up... Wait. This was a-"

My eyes shot open. I quickly sat up and looked around. I was back in my bedroom, my shirt and shorts had returned. A quick glance at the digital clock on my bedside table showed that it was 3:45 AM; another glance showed that my cell phone was ringing madly. I quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

_"Do you know if dogs can get periods?"_ I sighed.

"Anatolia, Did you honestly call me at 3:45 in the sodding morning to ask me that highly inappropriate question?" I already knew her answer.

_"Yes, now, can they?"_

"How the hell should I know? Just go on the computer and look it up! Really Anatolia, sometimes you are the biggest-" I stopped short, my eyes growing to the size of dinner plates and my skin paling.

_"Arthur? You oka-"_

"I'm fine I need to go I'll talk to you in the morning." I rambled out all in the same breath.

_"Arthur, what's going-"_ I quickly shut my phone, my gaze never leaving the blonde man who was sitting on my floor, an exasperated look clear on his face.

"I told you not to wake up."

I screamed.

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**A/N: I forgot to mention, Anatolia is my OC for Antarctica. It was discovered by people from England, so I think her and Arthur would get along in a weird way. :I Meh. Yea, the description of what's going on is supposed to not make much sense. It'll all come full circle… Eventually. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll work really hard to get more out in a timely fashion.**

**Drop a review if you thought this chapter was any good, I'll most likely respond to them If they ask questions, or make me happier than usual (Every review makes me as happy as Alfred with his Hamburgers, or Feli with his Pasta.) Ciao~**

**-Muffin**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter, Chapter, it's time for another chapter~!**

**Warning: There's like, one swear word… But I think that's it. Hey, I rated it T. That's why. :I**

**IF I GET SUED FOR THIS, I SWEAR. No, I don't own Hetalia. GOSH. Put down the lawyers!**

**Addressing a review or two:**

**Amelia L. Jones- F-F-fan art? You actually drew them? ;A; YOUBESOCOOLYOUDON'TEVENKNOW. I'm flattered! I would really love to see how you pictured them, I can see, yes? /grabby hands/ If you put them online pwease send me the link! /puffy heart/**

**Now, on with the show!

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My perfectly rational scream was cut off by the bespeckled man's large, calloused hand abruptly meeting my mouth.

"Shh! Don't scream! Someone might-" his harsh whisper was cut off by a loud thumping down the hallway. Alfred quickly pulled me off of the bed as he ducked underneath it, shielding himself from whoever was coming with my blanket that had created a fort-like tent when he pulled me. Before I could say anything, my door flew open.

"Arthur! Are you okay?" My mother asked, clearly having bolted out of bed as soon as I had yelled. I looked up sheepishly at her.

"_Tell her you fell out of bed!"_ Alfred whispered harshly.

"I-I just fell out of bed, it surprised me a bit. I am perfectly fine, no need to worry mother." I don't exactly know why I was lying for this strange man who had broken into my room, but the lie was out, and my mother seemed satisfied with the answer.

"Oh, well, just so long as you aren't hurt…" she smiled and closed the door behind her with a "Sleep well." I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding.

"Why in the world did I just cover for you?" I asked, turning to the man that was trying to get out from underneath my bed. He looked at me, flashing a megawatt grin.

"Because I'm awesome and I told you to!" I sighed, and sat on my bed, closing my eyes.

"I must be losing my mind… No, I'm still dreaming. That's it. When I open my eyes, He'll be gone…" I slowly opened my eyes, only to be greeted with a very curious look from Alfred F. Jones. He was still there. It wasn't a dream.

"I know, I'm way too handsome and heroic to be real, but I am," Alfred said, smiling smugly. Never in my life have I felt like hitting someone more.

"Well, explain. Why are you in my bedroom?" I asked my head in my hands.

"It's your fault for waking up! I could only communicate with you when you were asleep, and apparently because you didn't fight me, I got out of Kingsland with you… Which… Oh my god! I'm out!" He cheered happily, pulling me into a bear hug.

"Let me go this instant! And what do you mean 'you're out'? So all that talk about you being trapped there was true?" I asked, disbelievingly as he let me go.

"Well, duh. A hero wouldn't lie about something like that!" he smiled and I sighed, again.

"Lovely, you have a hero complex… Anyway, your explanations are frighteningly undetailed and I don't understand any of them. Isn't there anyone who can-"

"Arthur! What's going on? It's not like you to just hang up on me! " Anatolia chimed in from my window. One thing about Anatolia is she would often just randomly show up at my window ever since she learned how to climb up to the second story by way of the tree outside of my window. She lived a few houses down, so this happened quite often and most often in the middle of the night. She had scared me more times than I care to count. Just like how she did at that moment.

"Anatolia!" I whispered harshly at her after jumping, "What did I tell you about barging in? At least knock on the window!" She was about to respond, when her face paled.

"I was never here. You never saw me. I am a figment of your imagination." She responded, slowly sliding down from the window sill.

"What the-" Alfred bolted across the room to my window and snatched Anatolia up by the back of her shirt.

"Not so fast, get back here you," he said, pulling her up and through the window.

"Sir of whom I _totally don't know._ I believe you are invading my personal bubble and that you should let me go as soon as possible…" Anatolia said sheepishly, trying to hide her face from Alfred's menacing glare.

"I'm not that stupid Ant. You're just going to run away if I do, I know you, and I'm not letting go," he hissed at her, never releasing the hold he had on the back of her shirt.

"I will have you know _sir_ that we are in America, land of the free, home of the brave, and place where Kentucky Fried Chicken was born. I don't have to answer to you, because I have _rights_ and those rights entitle that I have the _right _to remain silent!" she said indignantly. Though her statement made no sense in light of the conversation the two of them were engaged in.

"Wait, we're in _America_? No way! I'm back ho-"

"Will _someone _please tell me what the bloody _fuck_ is going on?" I almost yelled, remembering that my mother was only a few rooms over. Both of them turned to me.

"Well Artie, you wanted a better explanation? Just ask _her,_ she'll give you the best explanation you've ever heard. Tell him exactly what's going on, _Instruction."_ Anatolia flinched as Alfred hissed out the word "instruction".

"Anatolia, what is he talking about?" I hardened my gaze as she smiled guiltily.

"Well, it's a long story, a good one too! B-but I'm sure you don't want to-"

"Talk," Alfred and I demanded simultaneously. She sighed.

"Fine, but not here. Arthur, can you leave for a few hours, or will Diana be upset?" she asked. I shook my head.

"It is almost four in the morning and she has already gotten up once. We have at least three more hours until she gets up again." I explained, pulling on a sweatshirt. Anatolia nodded and turned to Alfred.

"Get back in there," She demanded, picking up the card I had found the day previous. I noticed that the image of the man had vanished.

"No way! I just got out of my battlefield, why would I want to go back in?" he scowled, crossing his arms in defiance.

"Because you've already _ruined everything_, and I don't want to have to have your chatter on the way to where we're going. So, get. In." Anatolia explained, her face was terrifyingly serious, another first for her. I needed explanations, and soon.

"Fine, fine. Cripes, I'm going! Will you at least have Artie let me out when you get there?" he asked, adjusting his goggles. She contemplated this momentarily.

"We'll see." Alfred made a noise of protest, "Now, Arthur, be a dear and say, 'Joker, return from whence you came'." I eyed her suspiciously.

"_Joker, return from whence you came?_ What in the world will that-" A sudden flash exploded from where Alfred had been standing, and he was gone. My eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"Wha- Wha- Where did he go?" I questioned. Ant just looked at the card in her hand.

"Oh, don't be a baby Alfred, It's your fault. Stop pouting," I looked over her shoulder at the card. Sure enough, the picture had returned, but the man no longer looked cool and dangerous. He was now pouting, his arms crossed and his bottom lip sticking out. I gaped openly, Anatolia handed me the card.

"Keep this in your pocket, let's go!" she cheered, swinging out of my window onto the tree. I sighed and put the card in one of the leg pockets of my swim trunks.

~.::.~

I wondered where we were going as Anatolia danced down the sidewalk, humming some obscure song that I didn't know the name of. I soon found out as she turned into the children's park. She jumped up onto a light post and swung around the pole.

"Because you're bringin' me in and then you're kickin' me out again~!" She yelled out the last bit of the song she was humming, not in tune, mind you. I sat down on one of the swings.

"Alright, now talk Anatolia. What on Earth is going on?" She sighed and sat down with me.

"Arthur, you know how you were adopted?" she began to swing.

"Yes, all of my brothers were adopted. Why, you aren't going to tell me you're my real mother, are you?" I asked, beginning to swing myself.

"No… Though, if I _was_ I would be damn good looking for my age." She smiled her toothy smile at me, the one that she used when she thought she had made a particularly funny joke. Though the jokes weren't all that funny usually. "But, anyway. Do you remember anything before that? Anything before you were ten?" I frowned.

"No, you know I can't. That psychiatrist I went to for a few years even said that it was because I must have gone through a traumatic experience when I was younger." She knew this; Anatolia had the bad habit of listening in on private conversations. She had a field day when she found out I was going to a psychiatrist.

"Well, the experience could be considered traumatic I guess. But, really the reason why you can't remember anything is because when we came here, you weren't ready for the aftershock. You had never been to the mortal world before. You liked it in Kingsland for a time, until the Four Kings changed the rules… But I'm getting ahead of myself…" I stared at her, nothing made sense at all! Had everyone decided to just go completely crazy on me? She glanced at me, her expression serious.

"Arthur Kirkland, you are the Red Joker, expert in combative arts and magic. You resided in a place called Kingsland, a world where everything is ruled by the Four Kings of Suits. Your battlefield is called _Britanya _after the place you were originally born. You are the King's secret weapon against Players, and the Card Faces' only hope in obtaining their freedom from that world. I know you think I'm joking, but I'm not. I'm just stating facts. It's what I was created to do, and now I'll tell you anything you want to know. Hit me with your first question. It will all become clearer." Anatolia had stopped swinging, and my mind raced.

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**A/N: If this chapter sucks, blame the kickass head cold I got! :D You know you're all jealous, you wish you couldn't breathe like me. :I AAAAnyway. Sorry there was more Anatolia than Alfred, I promise He'll come back soon! Expect next chapter to be lots of explanations. I wanted to include the Q/A in this chapter, but there's lot that I still need to figure out about Arthur's backstory and stuff. But, I'll figure it out and hopefully you'll like the outcome. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, drop me a review some time if you aren't too busy!**

**Laters!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: What's this? A chapter in the middle of the week? Horary for a lack of schedule! :D I wanted to get this out last weekend, but a pack of wild Zombie Velociraptors were running rampant through the streets, and I had to go and fight them off with my trusty chainsaw. You know how it is.**

…

**Okay, I had a lot of homework, but the other excuse was more exciting, and everyone uses the homework excuse, amirite? Buy hey; I got this one out just in time for Thanksgiving! Or should I say the beginning of the Christmas season? Anyway, to all of the American readers, May your Thanksgiving be filled with delicious stuffing, and may all of your wishbone wishes come true! (~OAO)~ And for everyone else, to compensate for not getting a long weekend to eat until you explode, this chapter is dedicated to YOU! :D Enjo-…**

… **I feel like I'm forgetting-OHMYGODIALMOSTFORGOT!**

**P.S.! This is Amazing and Awesome and asdjkfqu… Ehem, Well. I got fan art. (BTW, Amelia F. Jones, I still want to see yours. :I I didn't forget.) But, not ONLY did I get a TO A "T" character design of Artie's Joker ensemble, which I want all of you to go stare at in wonder (The link is on my profile page), but the FAAAABULOUS person who drew it is turning The Joker, into a doujinshi.**

**You heard right.**

**This story will soon be in manga form. Now, I would like anyone who finds this abso-freakin-loutly amazing, to go and fangirl over WaterzDragon on deviantart. Drop her a comment, PESTER HER INTO POSTING ALFRED'S DESIGN AND THE FIRST PAGE. (I know your reading this. You're welcome for all that spam Waterz.) She's amazing, super nice, and an AMAZINGLYAWESOME artist, no lie. NOW GO MY PRETTIES! FLYYYYY! /end rant**

**start chapter/**

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.::.

It took me a few moments to respond. Anatolia looked nervous.

"A-Arthur? Hey, you alright?" She asked timidly.

"-sane…" I mumbled.

"What did you-"

"Is everyone around me _insane?"_ I exploded, Anatolia shrunk in on herself. I forgot that she was terrified of people yelling at her.

"I-I'm not lying… All of this is _real_ Artie… Please, just… Let me explain…" She begged, never unfolding from ball she had curled into. I sighed and began to rub circles on her back; it was the only way to get her to come out from that position.

"Alright," a soft sigh escaped my lips, "What is all this 'Kingsland' nonsense about?" Anatolia uncurled and smiled at me.

"Well, Kingsland is on a whole otherworldly plane from the Mortallands, that's this world. It came about around, oh… I believe it was in the 1500's here in the Mortallands, well, that's when the kings took their queens and such. But, anyway, in Kingsland, there are twelve divisions, one for each 'card face' and one for the four kings."

"Who are the card faces?" I interrupted her speech in favor of a new question.

"The card Faces are the guards of Kingsland. Each is assigned a number based on their strength. Some numbers and divisions were assigned two guards, I don't really know why."

"And I am one of these… Card Faces?" I asked

"I suppose. I mean, you do have a card, but you are slightly more important than the others. Being the original Joker, you were kind of like a protégé to the kings. They raised you to be a weapon essentially. If something went wrong, you could solve it," She explained, beginning to swing again.

"What's the deal with these Kings anyway? Based on the way you and that Alfred person talk about them, they don't seem very nice," I began to swing myself.

"Well, that's a pretty good assumption. They were okay to be around for the first couple hundred years, but then around 1800, give or take a few years, something in the Kings cracked. All of a sudden they gained a powerful hatred of humans from this world. I'm a little foggy as to why because I haven't been back in such a long time and I get memory lapses sometimes, but I do know that people couldn't come to and from Kingsland safely anymore,"

"People were allowed to go there before?" I asked as we began to swing higher.

"Yea, the Kings often opened up things called Poolways that allowed people to come and go. But then, after the Kings changed, they closed all of the ones that were accessible from here, so no mortal could go… uninvited…" she explained, her voice faltering slightly as she slowed her swing.

"What do you mean 'uninvited'?" Anatolia skidded to a stop, her choppy white bangs covering her face.

"They… They _took_ people." I stopped alongside her, "They would send someone out… a-and that person would have to find someone to be the newest 'Player'… The players… They would have to fight the Card faces… A-and if they beat them they got their cards to use for summoning… The winners, they got promised fabulous riches and the ability to go home… B-but… they had to beat the kings to win…" I got off of my swing and kneeled in front of her. Her skin was pulled tightly across her knuckles, turning them white, as she gripped the chains of the swing, her body shaking slightly. I placed a hand on her knee.

"Ant, what's wrong? What happened if they lost?" my eyes widened as she looked up at me. She was crying, large wet tears ran down from her misty green eyes. Anatolia _never_ cried. Not even when her first dog died.

"They were killed. No one ever won. No one got to go home. If you were brought there, it was a death sentence… I-I was always the one who had to bring people there, it was my job. I brought them there and explained things before sending them to their deaths," a strangled sob escaped from her lips.

"I basically _killed _people Artie…" she whispered, ashamed of what she believed she had done.

"You didn't kill anyone Ant; it's not your fault. Please, tell me why there are two Jokers," I asked the first thing that came into my mind to distract her. Crying really didn't suit her at all. She wiped her eyes and hiccupped before responding.

"Well, w-when I sent you out of Kingsland; the Kings needed someone to take your place. So they got the first person they could find. It just so happened to be a nineteen year old American boy by the name of Alfred F. Jones. I trained him for a short period of time before I came here to join you. The kings didn't even care that I was gone," she smiled at me. "I was such a ninja about the whole thing," I smiled, but slapped her upside the head softly.

"You're an idiot," she laughed for a moment before remembering something.

"Speaking of idiots, I'm never going to hear the end of it if you don't let that one out. Just hold the card and say _Joker._ It's not as cool as what you have to say to send a card face back, but it works," I looked at her quizzically, but got Alfred's card no less.

The picture had changed once again. This time Alfred was leaning against the border around his frame, looking positively bored. I shot a look at Anatolia.

"He's... Impatient. I'd let him out now." She responded, gesturing to the card. I sighed.

"_Joker, _uh, would you mind please coming out?" I chanced a look at Anatolia, only to find that she was looking at me questioningly.

"Ever the British gentleman, aren't we?"

"Oy, you could use some manner-" A bright flash of light exploded from the card, and a sudden extra weight latched onto me.

"Yay! You let me out! I knew you could do it eyebrows!" the American idiot cheered, hugging me with a freakish strength, successfully cutting off any hope of blood flow or oxygen.

"Let. Me. Go. You git!" I gasped, trying to break free of the vice grip that Alfred passed off for a hug. Thankfully Anatolia pried him off of me.

"Don't do that. Normally, people like breathing." Alfred just glared at the smaller girl.

"Whatever Ant. Hey, Artie, did she explain everything already?" the cloaked man asked, leaning on one of the poles that held up the swing set.

"Mostly, though I don't really understand why I'm the only hope for the card faces. Or whatever you mentioned." Anatolia and Alfred looked at each other before Anatolia began to speak.

"Well, you see, when I said the Kings took their Queens, I literally meant _took_ them. Everyone in Kingsland aside from the Kings was actually from the Mortallands. All of the card faces, the Queens, even you, everyone was from this world originally. The Kings took them from times and places where they wouldn't be missed, orphanages, large families with too many mouths to feed, the works. The kids they took were from all around the world too, Japan, Italy, Germany, excreta excreta. " she explained sheepishly, glancing between Alfred and myself. I ran a hand through my sandy blonde hair, messing it up further.

"… Holy _shit_. So, I was _kidnapped?_ What about my parents?" I asked, suddenly curious.

"Well, I'm positive they're dead now." Anatolia responded, straight-faced.

"_What?_ Why?"

"Well, you got taken around…" she mumbled the last part. Alfred and I looked at each other, neither of us knowing what she had said.

"Around what?" Anatolia took a deep breath before answering.

"Fifteen ten…"

"Excuse me?" I deadpanned.

"You were taken around fifteen ten. You are technically six hundred years old… Does it help if I say you look good for your age?" my reaction was perfectly reasonable.

"EXCUSE ME? I CAN _NOT _BE SIX HUNDRED YEARS OLD, I'M SEVENTEEN!" I screeched, jumping up. Alfred was _dying._

"Hahahahaha! Old man!" He exclaimed between fits of hearty laughter, tears forming in his eyes. I glared at him.

"Shut. Up. You are still technically older than me!" I yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at him. He smirked, his laughing having died down.

"Yea, but I'm not _six hundred_. I'm like twenty six and I haven't aged a day past nineteen. So ha, old man." I gaped openly.

"What? What does he mean he hasn't aged?" I asked, turning to Anatolia. This whole situation kept getting stranger and less believable.

"Well, Time works differently in Kingsland. Sixty Mortallandian years is the equivalent to one Kingslandian year, but time moves faster. It's hard to explain, but basically you age one year for every sixty Mortallandian years when you are in Kingsland, but if you spend three hundred and sixty five days in Kingsland, it's like a month or two here. It's complicated and weird." Anatolia explained.

"My head hurts…" I mumbled, trying to remember everything.

"Well, that's not the end of it old man. We need your help," Alfred chimed in, his laughter having stopped completely. I sighed and looked up at him.

"The Kings need to be stopped, and the only ones who can stop them are us. We've spent the longest amount of time in here on Earth; we know the difference between a game and murder. We know what they're doing is wrong. I've tried to persuade some of the other card faces to help stop them, but they don't see anything wrong with it. It's what they've grown up with. It's all they know. Arthur, please, will you help me stop them?" Alfred begged, his blue eyes pleading with my emerald ones. I opened my mouth to answer but Anatolia cut me off.

"No, I brought him out to get him away from all of that. I'm not letting him go back. Never again. I explained it, and that's all he needs to know." She hissed, stepping in front of me.

"It's not your call Ant! I know you're protective of him, but I also know you don't approve of what's happening either. You want this to stop, you've told me so. Also, you didn't tell him everything, I _know_ you didn't. You just can't face your own demons, can you? You thought bring him here would change everything, but it didn't, and it's _killing you._ Isn't it?" Alfred snapped back at her. She cringed at the man's accusing words.

"I knew letting you out was a bad idea. I knew you would ruin everything! I can't believe I was that stupid! This is why I kept your card under lock and key, but no. You just _had_ to find a way out of my protection! Everything was just fine befo-"

"Will you both shut up?" The bickering pair whipped around, their eyes wide, "You are both absolute idiots! Alfred, I don't know who you are, but you have no right to accuse Anatolia of not repeating things she probably doesn't want to remember," Alfred looked down, ashamed, while Ant smirked.

"See, Arthur totally likes me be-"

"I never said you were any less of a git. You cannot decide what I can and cannot do. Now, explain what me helping entails," Anatolia looked dejected, while Alfred flashed a megawatt grin.

"Well, we would need to go into Kingsland through our cards, which double as Poolways, challenge all of the card faces to duels, and we would need to win all of them. Once we have beaten everyone and obtained their cards, we have to go to the Kingsland Spire, aka the home and division of the Kings, the Queens, and the Queen's guards the Jacks. We have to face the Queens first, which basically means fighting the Jacks. Once we've beaten them, it's a straight shot to the Kings. Comprende?" I nodded, thinking to myself.

If all of this was actually real, and that assumption got more evidence the more times I looked at Alfred and his strange outfit, then the morally correct thing to do would be to go and fight. But what if we lost? That was an option I didn't really want to think about very hard. But still, I wanted to know more. Everything I had known ever since I was young could be wrong, and if it was I wanted to know why. Why Anatolia had kept this from me for so long, why she had brought us here, what my life was like in that world, everything was being questioned in my head. Going to this, Kingsland could either shed light on these questions, or open a floodgate to all new questions.

The benefits of going were beginning to outweigh the risks. My mind had been made up.

"When do we leave?"

* * *

**A/N: /end chapter/ :D … what? It's longer! Like a couple hundred words longer! I'm proud. :3 Now, I'm gunna go eat some turkey!**

**Drop a review with what YOU'RE thankful for! I'm thankful for my fabulous, kind, and supportive readers who have stuck with me even with my freakish updating patterns, rambling author's notes, and the occasional crappily written chapter, friends, family, and vacation! Now it's your turn, even if you aren't American, I bet there's still stuff you're thankful for! (/O7O)/**

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello there! I hope you all had a lovely holiday! cB /bricked/ Okay, sorry. I TRIED SO HARD to get a chapter out before Christmas, but… Life. :I Anyway, as a special belated Christmas present, I will be working ALL WEEK on the next few chapters! I'm going to try to get at least five done so I can release a chapter every week until my next Vacation, where I will continue to work on it…**

**We'll see if that actually works out for me. :I But, we are currently having a kickass blizzard over here, so I'm trapped in my house with faulty internet, leaving me time to work on this puppy. /strokes story/ cB**

**OH~! Also, check out my profile! Waterz put up Alfred's Joker design! :D /glee/ She's working on the cover page she says, so I'm looking forward to that, how about you? /crickets/**

… **Let's just get on with the next chapter.**

* * *

"Arthur! You can't be-"

"I am Ant. Now, when do we leave?" I cut her off and turned to the strangely dressed man. His smile extended from ear-to-ear and I believe he was about to hug me, but I stopped him before he did. Alfred looked crestfallen for only a moment, before the grin returned full-force.

"As soon as possible! We just need to get your face card, and we'll be off!" He replied. I eyed him quizzically.

"And where, do you propose we will find my face-card?"

"Oh, that's easy. Anatolia~" he sang. Anatolia froze and turned even paler than she normally was.

"W-what~?" she sang back, worriedly. Alfred sauntered over to her, his grin turning to one of malice as he towered over the small girl.

"Would you mind kindly handing over his card?" Alfred asked sweetly. She blanched further before speaking.

"W-what would give you the idea that I still have the card, hm? What if I got rid of it when we came here? What then, Hero boy?" She crossed her arms, though the move was halfhearted. Alfred deadpanned then reached into the pocket of her sweatpants.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"Anatolia was cut off from her ranting when Alfred straightened and held up two cards, his expression still deadpanned aside from his now arched eyebrow.

"Oh yea, you totally got rid of these little puppies. I'm guessing Artie-"

"Arthur!" I interjected, though he just brushed it off like the wanker he is.

"Found my card because it fell out of your pocket?" Anatolia's eyes widened and her face turned a lovely shade of tomato red as she sputtered indignantly.

"'Thought so." the bespeckled man said with a smile. He turned to me and handed over the blank card.

"Here ya go old man! One Joker card, made just for you and ready to go!"

I did a quick once-over of the card. It had the same design as Alfred's on the back though the front had a similar design as well, the J's had green designs wrapping around them instead of blue. Anatolia's sigh made me turn to her.

"Well, now that you have it, I suppose I can't stop you." Anatolia turned away so that I could just barely see the evil smirk that graced her features, "Though… What are you going to tell your mother? How will she react to her son disappearing for an undefined period of time?" Anatolia turned around and smirked up at Alfred. He just kept on smiling.

"I'm sure you'll come up with something!"

"I'm not going to come up with an excuse for Arthur's disappearance!"

...

"Well, Diana, we'll be at camp for probably the rest of the summer. We'll have to see about how long we want to stay," Anatolia explained to my mother with an exasperated expression. I shot her a look that said, "You have no resolve or will power whatsoever, do you?" She just glared at me.

"Well, I suppose that's fine. What did you say your name was young man?" My mother asked over her cup of tea.

"Alfred F. Jones, mam. I'm the co-president of Allied Camps and Recreations." Alfred explained his smile charismatic and welcoming. Thankfully we had made him change his clothes to something other than his Joker uniform. I swore I could see my mother swoon at him.

"You seem a bit young to be running a camp… How old are you again, if you do not mind my asking?" my mother asked sweetly.

"I'm nineteen mam, my grandfather started the camp and my dad is the current president. I plan on taking over for him when I turn twenty one." He answered. My mother seemed satisfied with that answer.

"Well, this is very sudden and I don't really remember you mentioning this camp Pet, but if you got a scholarship there then I suppose I can't really stop you!" she smiled. Alfred's grin widened… If that was even possible.

"Oh, thank you mam. I'm positive great things will come out of you allowing him to go." My mother smiled softly.

"When do you leave?"

"Today, I am sorry for the lack of warning mother." I told her sheepishly.

"Oh, so soon?" she asked sadly.

"Well… Mr. Jones," Anatolia spat out his name, though it probably pained her to announce him so formally, "is here and we don't want to waste his efforts in coming all the way up from South Carolina."

"True, well, Arthur you should go get ready Love! I'll see you off when you're all done."

It was at this point that I realized something. My mother would believe and go along with just about anything. She even agreed to the fact that I would be far too busy to call or write. Bless her poor naïve soul.

~.::.~

After we said good bye to my mother, we dropped my things off at Anatolia's house. Her parents weren't home, again.

"Why are you're parent's never home?" I asked, expecting her usual answer of "Oh, they have loads of work to do." But she surprised me, once again making me question everything in my life.

"They're in their cards. They were just my guards from when I was in Kingsland. I only took them out when I needed parents. They came in handy," I just rubbed the bridge of my nose, not wanting to question her response further.

"Are we all ready to go?" Alfred asked impatiently, rocking back and forth on his heels. Anatolia sighed, but nodded.

"You're sure about this Arthur?"

"Yes," I nodded, "Let's go."

Anatolia smiled sadly, but still took her card from Alfred's outstretched hand. I took mine as well. She told me to return Alfred first. I nodded.

"_Joker, return from whence you came."_ I recited, expecting a bright flash of light like before, but nothing happened.

"Oh, right. You need to say, _Joker, guardian of the black suit, return from whence you came._ Because you have yours now too." Anatolia explained. I nodded, and then tried again.

"_Joker, guardian of the black suit, return from whence you came." _And with that, Alfred disappeared with an explosion of light. Anatolia nodded.

"I'll go next. You come after me, just repeat what I say, only replace 'Instructions' with 'the Joker, guardian of the red suit' got it?" She asked, gripping my shoulder. I nodded and she smiled.

"Awesome, see you on the other side." She let me go, "_I, the Instructions, wish to return from whence I came."_ An explosion of light, and she was gone.

I took one final look around me, taking one last look at my surroundings. Would this be the last time I saw these houses, my mother, my brothers? I straightened myself, setting my final resolve.

"_I, the Joker, guardian of the red suit, wish to return from whence I came."_ And with an explosion of light, I disappeared.

~.::.~

I was jolted awake by several hard jabs in my side. My eyes slowly slid open and I groaned at the sight looming over me.

"Do get off of me you great oaf. Seeing your face as I wake up is not exactly on the list of my favorite things," Igrunted, pushing Alfred away from me. Looking down, I noticed that the clothes from before had returned. I personally thought they looked ridiculous, but then Anatolia approached us, and I had to stop myself from laughing at her ensemble.

The only normal looking tings about her outfit were the black lace-up boots (much like mine and Alfred's) and the solid black belt draped around her hips. Hearts, diamonds, clubs and spades went around both the bottom of her flaring Capri-like pants and the corset-like shirt that attached to the solid-black turtle-neck with puffy short-sleeves that she wore. On her arms were grey and white arm-warmers with similar designs to the ones on her pants and her shirt, only the black suits were on the grey warmer and the red ones were on the white. Also, around her neck hung her card, the blood-red "K" displayed proudly.

"Lookin' good Ant," Alfred snickered as she glared at him.

"Shut up. I hate this outfit, I don't get why they couldn't give me something easier to fight in." She complained, Alfred just looked at her.

"Well, you weren't _made_ for fighting, maybe that's the reason." He smirked and she glared.

"Don't remind me. Just, don't even remind me,"

"If you two lovebirds are quite done arguing, what do we do now?" I asked standing and brushing off my clothes. The two of them frowned at the "Lovebirds" accusation, but Anatolia still stepped over to me.

"Well, I'd suggest we start off with some combat practice for you Arthur. No matter how easy the Aces are, I don't want you making a fool of yourself. So, Alfred get ready. Let's see just how much you can remember Arthur!"

* * *

**... :I Not my favorite chapter, (It didn't make much sense… SUSPENDED DISBELEIF /hypocrite/) but it needed to be done, so we can get to the actual meat of the story! :D So, yay for that! Now, I must be off, for mis padre needs el computadora. /bricked by Antonio/**

**Drop me a review, even if they're complaints! Laters!**

**Unimportant blurb: This chapter was written while listening to the Moulin Rouge and West Side Story soundtracks! C: /goes back to listening to Broadway Pandora stations/**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Annnnd, I only got one chapter done. :I So much for "I'M GUNNA GET FIVE CHAPTERS DONE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS /sparkly shojo eyes/" :I Well, at least this one is longer, like it's almost 3k words. I'm hoping it's better than normal, cause I had fun writing this chapter, so I hope you have fun reading it! /rolls away/**

**Disclaimer: … :I No.**

* * *

And so, that is how I found myself face to face with Alfred on the battlefield with Anatolia as the moderator.

"Are you quite sure that this is a good idea Anatolia?" I asked, gripping my still sheathed sword. Alfred grinned as he leaned against his sword.

"Wacha so scared of Artie? I'm gunna go easy on you! Anatolia made me promise!" His grin was smug, but genuine at the same time.

"One, my name is Arthur you great oaf, and two, every dead English author just turned in their graves from that atrocious defilement of the English language." I deadpanned. He just let out a deep laugh that rang out through the field, probably reaching the forests. Anatolia sighed from where she stood, off to the side of our makeshift arena of sorts.

"Let's get on with the review, shall we?" both Alfred and I nodded. "Alright, men, draw your swords." Alfred griped the hilt of his sword, tossing it in a small spin before catching it and pointing it at me. I carefully drew my own sword and held it up to him.

"Arthur, one hand," Anatolia remarked from the side. I nodded, my gaze still locked on the sharp piece of metal I held in my hands. Slowly I removed my left hand, leaving only my right one to support the weight. A feeling of déjà vu overcame me as I held the sword.

"Bring it, old man." Alfred remarked, before twisting the blade again and running at me. I swiftly twisted out of the way of the oncoming blade, just missing it grazing me by a few centimeters. Alfred quickly turned and came at me again. And so we dance like that for a few moments, him coming at me directly as I dodged the blade by mere centimeters, until something in my head clicked.

Alfred was a direct fighter, relying on his strength solely to get him by. He would continue to attack directly because he only knew brute force as an attack. If I relied on my small frame and nimble movements, I could easily attack him at a different angle, moving just before he came back for retaliation. So, I did.

Quickly spinning out of the way of Alfred's sword again, I gripped my sword, running at him quickly from his right side, and slicing his arm just enough to cut the fabric and maybe leave a small scratch. I jumped out of the way of his sword as he turned to face me, his expression no longer smug, but slightly shocked. That expression was quickly replaced by one of annoyment as he rushed at me again. I repeated the move from before, only on his left side now. I once again left a small nick in his clothes and skin, not even enough to leave a scar later. He faced me again, breathing a bit heavier than before, a few drops of sweat just beginning to form on his brow. I smirked.

"What's the matter Jones? Still haven't landed a hit?" I mocked, never lowering my sword. Alfred let out a low growl as his annoyment turned to anger.

"No more Mr. Nice Guy, Artie," he growled, clearly not happy with the idea that he might lose to someone younger than him.

"Oh, when did he get here? I would love to say hello to him. I've only met Mr. Arrogant." I mocked, smirking at his clear displeasure.

"Not funny." He deadpanned, before running at me again, faster than before. I had to react quicker, turning faster and striking as I did. I expected him to use the same move as before, but he clearly had caught on to what I was doing and struck my blade with his own, resulting in a harsh clang. He quickly brought up his sword again before swinging it down on my left.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I processed his move, briskly moving my blade to the left so it could meet his. Alfred continued to beat down on either side, left, right, left, right, never striking directly at me. I was about to wonder why when he brought the blade down, aiming for my center, finally. I quickly twisted my blade and pushed against his. Our faces were inches apart as we struggled, our blades clashed between us, neither relenting or weakening, just holding the other back. We had matching grimaces as we struggled.

"What happened to, ngh, not knowing how to fight?" Alfred asked, his voice strained from exerting so much energy.

"I, gah! Don't know. I guess I lied!" I retorted, grinning under the pressure from Alfred's strength. One final push sent the two of us jumping back from one another, panting heavily. A loud slow clap broke the intense stares that Alfred and I had locked on each other.

"Well, I guess I underestimated the brain's ability to remember things! All it took was a little challenge to bring back like, four hundred years of combat training, who knew, right?" Anatolia grinned, sauntering over to us. I lowered my sword and straightened myself.

"I didn't know Artie could fight! You are such a liar Ant!" Alfred whined from his sprawled position on the ground, his chest raising and lowering spatially as he tried to catch his breath.

"Well, I never said he _couldn't._ I just said he _hadn't _fought in a while. It must be one of those things that just gets ingrained into your brain from doing it for so long." Anatolia spat back, crossing her arms and glancing down at the heavily breathing American.

"Well, what now?" I asked, returning my sword to its sheath.

"Well, once his highness is done dying over there, we should get on our way. The ace's battlefield is a bit of a walk away from here considering we need to get through the woods. But, don't worry, it's not that bad." Anatolia explained, strolling over to me and leaning on my shoulder. She glanced, uncaringly, back at Alfred, who was now lying still on the ground.

"You dead yet?" she called.

"Shut up, Ant." He called back, slowly rising and replacing his sword. "You are so impatient sometimes." She just stuck out her tongue at him.

"Honestly you two. Can we go five minutes without you two bickering? It's giving me a headache." I grumbled, rubbing my temples.

"But Arthurrr! It's just so easy to poke fun at him!" Anatolia snickered as Alfred joined us. He paused next to Anatolia, looked her over, and then slapped her upside the head. She jolted forward.

"Bastard." She mumbled, rubbing her head. "Anyway, we should get going. It's going to take us a while to get to the Aces' battlefield. Tally ho!" She cheered, sauntering off towards the forest. I sighed, but followed after her, Alfred close on my heels.

~.::.~

When Anatolia said that it would take a while to get there, she meant it literally. It felt like hours had passed since we had left the Jokers' battlefield, and everything in the forest looked the same.

"My god Ant, how much further is it? I don't ever remember it being this freaking long of a walk!" Alfred whined, slumping over. Anatolia just grunted but kept walking.

"Well, I might have used a shortcut before…" She mumbled, walking a bit faster as Alfred and I stopped in our tracks.

"What do you mean you used a shortcut?" We shouted simultaneously. She cringed and smiled sheepishly back at us.

"W-well, when I was still the official Instructions card, I could just transport from place to place, everyone can really… B-but I kinda gave up my magic abilities when I left!" She smiled, rubbing her neck and not looking directly at us.

"Well, I can't transport anywhere, clearly." Alfred spat back. Anatolia just looked at him.

"Do you honestly think they would give you any extra abilities aside from your freakish strength?" Alfred looked about to strangle her.

"I'm getting real sick of your back talk Ant," he hissed, gripping his sword.

"Hey, sto-"I tried intervening to no avail.

"Oh, bring it _on_ burger-freak!" she shouted back, grabbing a nearby rock.

"Anatolia, plea-"I tried again, growing more ticked off at the both of them.

"Oh, you did _not just go there._ It is _on_ you little freak!" Alfred yelled, drawing his sword just as Ant launched her rock. I acted completely on impulse, throwing myself between the oncoming weapons.

"_Ályne!" _suddenly, the rock froze in mid-air and neither Alfred nor Anatolia could move their bodies.

"What the he-"the two opposing sides said at the same time, questioning both why they couldn't move and where that strange word had come from.

"_Æmetta!"_ both of them silenced instantly. Alfred made loud grunts, because he couldn't open his mouth, where Anatolia just gaped at me.

"Now, could the two of you _listen to me?_" I asked with a strained tone, glaring at the both of them. They made soft grunts of agreement, "Good. Now, I want the both of you to stop acting like children! Honestly, Alfred, you're what, twenty six actually? And Anatolia, I don't even want to begin thinking about it because I _know_ it would be far too complicated for me to handle at this moment in time. Really you two, start acting your damn ages! I will not babysit you." I sent them each one last glare.

"_Álynian." _Alfred and Anatolia dropped to their knees, gasping slightly. They both stared at me.

"What was that?" I asked shocked at the strange words that were coming out of my mouth, Anatolia smirked.

"You've still got it Arthur. You've still got it." She said softly, standing and patting me on the shoulder. Alfred jumped up.

"That was so freakin cool! I mean, sure I've seen a little bit of magic, but you looked totally BA just a second ago! You have _got_ to teach me that dude," he cheered, striking a pose that I suspect was supposed to look like how I had a moment ago.

"What did I just do?"

"Magic! Like I said before, you're an expert in both combative arts _and _magic! Aw, I'm so proud of that little brain of yours for remembering how to do it!" she crooned, pulling my head to her chest and ruffling my already messy hair.

"Yes, yes, I am quite smart, now would you please let me go?" I begged, pushing the shorter girl off of me.

"Say, Artie, d'ya thinks you could transport us to the Ace's battlefield with your newfound magical powers?" Alfred asked, excited at the prospect of not having to walk any farther.

"I don't know Al, that might not be the best idea right now…" Anatolia chimed in, rocking back and forth with her hands behind her back.

"Oh and why is that, might I ask oh, smart one?" the American asked, annoyed. Anatolia just smirked and jutted a thumb over her shoulder.

"The battlefield is right there."

Alfred's groan could probably be heard four zones away.

~.::.~

What I expected of the Ace's battlefield was nothing like what we had arrived at. I expected it to be much like Alfred's battlefield, devoid of any life or decoration aside from the hyperactive man and the grass. What we were welcomed to looked to be the world's largest collection of pasta. Everything was made from the stringy treat, the trees, and the ground, even the small stream that passed through was made of tomato sauce. Speaking of tomatoes, they seemed to be what the castle-like structure was entirely made of.

"What kind of drug have you given me Anatolia? Because I am currently seeing pasta and tomatoes _everywhere._" I deadpanned, not believing what I was seeing. Alfred was off to the side, trying to figure out exactly how to walk on pasta.

"Oh, how I wish I had given you something. This is actually here; all of the battlefields were made especially for the card face who was supposed to live there. Yours was very plain because you liked the peace and quiet that you experienced in the outdoors. Alfred just inherited yours. I'm scared to even think of what he would do with his." She shuddered at this thought, "But, anyway, the Aces like pasta and tomatoes… To probably an unhealthy degree. So their battlefield is made entirely out of both… It is kind of gross though, once you think about it." She frowned, picking up a piece of the ground. Alfred stepped over, cautious of the soft pasta-ground.

"It's really gross. I mean, I could get a battlefield made of hamburgers, but this is a little much."

I suddenly realized why Anatolia didn't want to think about what Alfred would do with his own battlefield.

We were drawn out of our contemplation of the strange arena by the creaking open of doors… Well, tomato doors. Out of the tomato castle walked a man who looked to be of Italian decent, he had light auburn hair with an errant curl sticking out of the left side of his head, defying gravity much like Alfred's strange cowlick. The man wore what looked to be an outfit of a priest, only instead of crosses, red hearts and diamonds dawned his white robes and necklaces. He wore a red beret on his head and he was trying to juggle both a cooking pot and a long white staff with red suit designs along the length of the staff and two glass ornaments on either end, a larger heart at the top, and a smaller diamond at the bottom. The young man still hadn't noticed us, and he was humming a strange tune.

"Excuse me-"I began,

"Feliciano!" Anatolia yelled to the young man, who was apparently named Feliciano. He jumped, dropping the pot, but not his staff.

"W-who's there?" he squeaked, Anatolia ran over to him, Alfred and I followed. Feliciano's eyes widened before squealing with delight.

"Anatolia! Is it really you?" he asked, tears beginning to form at the corners of his auburn eyes. Anatolia took his hands in her own.

"Yea, Arthur and I came back! Oh, I've missed you so much you cute little Italian you!" She squealed, wrapping Feliciano in a hug. Alfred leaned over to me.

"This is the girliest I've ever seen her." He whispered. I nodded, a little caught off guard by her sudden change in attitude. Feliciano perked up when he heard my name.

"Arthur! You came back!" he cried, slamming into me, knocking me over with the force of his sudden hug.

"Uh… Ehem, yes, h-hello Feliciano?" I responded cautiously. He looked up at me questioningly.

"Don't you remember me Arthur?"

"He doesn't remember much about this world Feli, I'm sure he'll remember you soon enough." Alfred laughed, lightheartedly.

"Oh, Alfred! Hello there! You came to visit me and Lovino too? Oh, I hope we'll have enough pasta!" He fretted, genuinely worried. The three of us glanced at one another with looks that shouted, "Is he serious?"

"Oy_, fratello_! What the hell is taking so freakin long with the pasta? I'm fucking starving over- Holy shit." Screamed another boy who looked shockingly like Feliciano. The only differences being his hair curl was facing to the right, he had a deep scowl, a bad mouth, and his white priests outfit had the black suits and a black barrette perched on his darker brown hair.

"Lovino! Look who came back!" Feliciano cheered, running over to his brother and dragging him back to us.

"Sup Lovi~?" Anatolia sing-songed holding out her fist for the angrier Ace, he responded with what could be called a smile and his fist bumping into hers.

"The fuck are you and captain eyebrows doing here? I thought you two left!" He asked, surprised but pleased. I wasn't too happy with the nickname, but I had a feeling that's the best I was going to get.

"We did, but Burger-boy here convinced us to come back for a little bit." Anatolia explained, grinning at Lovino before pulling him into a hug. "I missed you, ya pissy bastard!" she chided, slapping him on the back. Alfred leaned over again.

"Aaaand, she's back to normal." I nodded, rolling my eyes at her strange by-polar behavior. She straightened herself and pulled me forward.

"Arthur, this is Lovino Vargas and Feliciano Vargas, the twin Aces."

"It's a pleasure." I responded, smiling slightly at the twins. Lovino stared at me quizzically.

"Wait, he doesn't remember who we are?"

"Nope. Anyway, we came here for a reason you two. It involves going back to the Mortallands, for good. Are you intrigued?" Anatolia asked jutting out her hip.

* * *

**A/N: End chapter. So, there you have it! Finished around one AM, and longer than any of my other chapters. :D**

**So, as per my usual rant, if you've got a minute, drop me a review! They make me have a renewed purpose to write and believe it or not, they make me want to get out chapters faster…. Really! Anyway, I appreciate them. Hope you have a fabulous New Year and a great 2011! /throws confetti/**


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